If you have Relevant Questions, email us and we'll provide Relevant Answers:

Q: How do I become the Evil Attorney's client?
A: The Evil Attorney® uses a simple, one page Collections Agreement. The Evil Attorney® is blunt and likes plain language. You will like the straightforward Agreement - or it will be changed to suit your requirements.

You may mail or fax back the Collections Agreement with any documents that support your debt. The Evil Attorney® will contact you if additional documents are needed.

Q: I am a debtor... How do I pay the Evil Attorney through this web site?
A: Click here to make a payment by PayPal - one of the safest, most secure forms of payment on the internet. Do not pay your debt by Paypal until you have spoken to the Evil Attorney®!

Q: What does the Evil Attorney REALLY charge?
A: A straight contingency fee - nothing more. There really are no hidden charges. If no money is collected, you owe nothing. And your agreed contingency fee rate never changes. Please contact us for a quote.

Q: What will the Evil Attorney do before filing suit?
A: The Evil Attorney® specializes in evil letters and evil phone calls. Nothing too extreme and certainly in compliance with the law. But some people need a strong "talking to".

Of course, if the debtor simply needs some "coaxing," the Evil Attorney® can rehabilitate a former business relationship. If the person who owes you money deserves to be treated well, please let us know! It's a nice break from the "usual" routine.

Q: Will the Evil Attorney REALLY do all those nasty legal things?
A: The Evil Attorney® is a licensed California attorney. with over a decade of experience, he knows how to use the California enforcement of judgment laws. Not every case will ever require everything listed in the "services" and "Secret weapons" section - think of them as a "legal toolbox". The Evil Attorney® simply uses the right tool for the right job.

Q: I like to know what's going on with my debt - How can we communicate?
A: The Evil Attorney® communicates by email, fax, or written letter. Of course, don't forget the phone! You may choose how we communicate. Please expect to be notified of all significant developments.

Q: I hate you Evil Attorney... How do I get rid of you?
A: You must not be the Evil Attorney®'s client! So you must be a debtor or Defendant. You can pay your bill via the Paypal link, or contact the Evil Attorney® to make arrangements for repayment by mail. Email is for clients only - please communicate by telephone or [paper] writing. Do not pay your debt by Paypal until you have spoken to the Evil Attorney®!

Q: How do I get a bitchin website like the Evil Attorney?
A: Check out a security programmer called The PHP Kemist who likes to write code to hurt the bad guys.
» www.phpkemist.com